EARTHQUAKE!!!!!!!!!!

THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN TWITTER BREAKS!!!!!!!! COME BACK TWITTER!!!!!!

That was not a fun quake. The last big one we had was rolling, lasted like 30 seconds, but was like riding a wave. This one was jolty and shaky, not at all smooth. I wasn't born in California and I've not exactly grown up with earthquakes, nor have I been through a very big one, and I hope I don't ever have to be. So I don't handle them with the most grace.

This time I was sitting here on the couch typing the last post and putting on a base coat on my nails at the same time. You never really know when you're feeling an earthquake or if you're just feeling a phantom quake when you're me, so when I started to feel all shaky, I wondered if I was just smelling too many fumes from the nail polish. Then it got jolty. Then I spread myself out as if making myself wider would do any good, but didn't really move. More like I just braced myself against the air. I always say stupid shit like "YEAH! It's happening!" like someone asked me if I was feeling an earthquake a the moment. I can't explain my logic of my earthquake readiness, but that's what I did.

This one lasted about 15 seconds and was on and off jolty. It almost warranted a move under a doorway since I don't have any tables except a glass one that I would never trust to save me in a quake, but I had an open bottle of nail polish and didn't want to have to clean that up if it didn't really end up being something major. Thankfully it wasn't, everyone is fine and Boyfriend is very Gen Kill looking right now.

Please come back Twitter, the world is ending without you...

The Time Twitter Broke When I Started Dating Larry David

Twitter is currently a big fucking whale of annoyance and so I cannot tweet to the world the mass panic that is occurring in my life as we speak.

Today Boyfriend came home from work with a bag full of goodies. Canvas drop cloth, milk, dinner and clippers. Like the kind you use on men for cutting their hair. I assumed he wanted to use it for touch ups. No. He wants to use it for shaving his head. He's outside on the pitch black porch right now messing around with it and shaving off his hair. He's basically going to look exactly like Larry David when he's done, since no hair = Larry David.

I feel like I brought this on myself. Just this weekend, as I was driving up to Santa Cruz, I found myself thinking how much I hated it when my last boyfriend decided to start messing around with his look. He tried to dye his dark brown hair blonde and it ended up orange. He LOVED his orange hair. I hated it. With a passion. As I remembered this painful memory, I thought to myself, boy I'm glad Boyfriend doesn't mess around with his nice hair. Sometimes it gets a little long, but otherwise it's mostly fine...

Now look at me.


FUCK AND NOW THERE WAS JUST A BIG EARTHQUAKE!!!!!!!!!